Story of My Life

Sun, 22 Jul 2007 03:22:44 GMT

"There are times when even the best of us have trouble with commitment, and we may be surprised at the commitments we're willing to let slip out of our grasp. Commitments are complicated. We may surprise ourselves by the commitments we're willing to make, true commitment, takes effort, and sacrifice. Which is why sometimes, we have to learn the hard way, to choose our commitments very carefully."

"As surgeons, we are trained to look for disease. Sometimes the problem is easily detected, most of the time we need to go step by step. First, probing the surface looking for any sign of trouble. Most of the time, we can't tell what's wrong with somebody by just looking at them. After all, they can look perfectly fine on the outside, while their insides tell a whole other story."

"In some ways, betrayal is inevitable. When our bodies betray us, surgery is often the key to recovery. When we betray each other, the path to recovery is less clear. We do whatever it takes to rebuild the trust that was lost. And then there are some wounds, some betrayals... that are so deep, so profound that there is no way to repair what was lost. And when that happens, there's nothing left to do but wait."

"At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, it's usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them. The people that are still with you at the end of the day, those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need."

"We all think we’re going to be great and we feel a little bit robbed when our expectations aren’t met. But sometimes expectations sell us short. Sometimes the expected simply pales in comparison to the unexpected. You got to wonder why we cling to our expectations, because the expected is just what keeps us steady. Standing. Still, the expected's just the beginning, the unexpected is what changes our lives."

"Too often, the thing you want most is the one thing you can't have. Desire leaves us heartbroken, it wears us out. Desire can wreck your life. But as tough as wanting something can be. The people who suffer the most, are those who don't know what they want."

"Maybe we accept the dream has become a nightmare. We tell ourselves that reality is better. We convince ourselves it's better that we never dream at all. But, the strongest of us, the most determined of us, holds on to the dream or we find ourselves faced with a fresh dream we never considered. We wake to find ourselves, against all odds, feeling hopeful. And, if we're lucky, we realize in the face of everything, in the face of life the true dream is being able to dream at all."

"I've heard that it’s possible to grow up, I've just never met anyone who’s actually done it. Without parents to defy, we break the rules we make for ourselves. We throw tantrums when things don’t go our way. We whisper secrets with our best friend, in the dark. We look for comfort where we can find it. And we hope against all logic, against all experience, like children, we never give up hope."

"After careful consideration and many sleepless nights, here’s what I've decided. There's no such thing as a grown-up. We move out, we move away from our families. But the basic insecurities, the fears and all the old wounds just grow up with us. Just when you think life has forced you to truly become an adult, your mother says something like that. We get bigger, taller, older. But, for the most part, we're still a bunch of kids, running around the playground, trying desperately to fit in."

"Communication. It's the first thing we really learn in life. The funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking, the harder it becomes to know what to say. Or how to ask for what we really need."

"At the end of the day, there are some things you just can't help but talk about. Some things we just don't want to hear, and some things we say because we can't be silent any longer. Some things are more than what you say. They're what you do. Some things you say because you have no other choice. Some things you keep to yourself. And not too often, but every now and then, some things simply speak for themselves."

"Who gets to determine when the old ends and the new begins? It’s not on the calendar, it’s not a birthday, it’s not a new year. It’s an event, big or small, something that changes us. Ideally, that gives us hope, a new way of living and looking at the world, a way of letting go of old habits, old memories. What's important is that we never stop believing we can have a new beginning, but it's also important to remember that, amid all the crap, there are a few things worth holding on to."

"There's an old proverb that says you can't choose your family. You take what fate handa you. And like them or not, love them or not, understand them or not, you cope. Then there's the school of thought that says the family you're born into is simply a starting point. They feed you, clothe you, and take care of you until you're ready to go out into the world. There you find your own tribe."

"A wise man once said you can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it. What he meant is nothing comes without a price. So before you go into battle, you better decide how much you're willing to lose. Too often, going after what feels good means letting go of what you know is right, and letting someone in means abandoning the walls you've spent a lifetime building. Of course, the toughest sacrifices are the ones we don't see coming, when we don't have time to come up with a strategy to pick a side or to measure the potential loss. When that happens, when the battle chooses us and not the other way around, that's when the sacrifice can turn out to be more than we can bear."

"We're all damaged, it seems. Some of us more than others. We carry the damage with us from childhood, then as grown-ups, we give as good as we get. Ultimately, we all do damage. And then, we set about the business of fixing whatever we can."

"You know when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales? That fantasy of what your life would be -- white dress, prince charming who’d carry you away to a castle on a hill. You’d lie in your bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa clause, the tooth fairy, prince charming -- they were so close you could taste them. But eventually you grow up and one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is, it’s hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely because almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope and faith that one day they would open their eyes and it would all come true."

"But the thing is, it’s hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely, because almost everyone has that smallest bit of faith and hope that one day they would open their eyes and it would all come true. At the end of the day, faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don’t really expect it. It’s like one day you realize that the fairy tale is slightly different than your dream. The castle, well it may not be a castle. And it’s not so important that it’s happily ever after -- just that it’s happy right now. See, once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you. And once in awhile, people may even take your breath away."

"The early bird catches the worm; a stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we haven't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to ‘seize the day'. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore, until we finally understand for ourselves like Benjamin Franklin meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping. And that even the biggest failure, even the worst most intractable mistake beats the hell out of never trying."

Sun, 15 Jul 2007 13:37:22 GMT

The cure is NOT TO CARE so I wont, I'm better off that way. If you don't care, why the hell should I give a damn?

BUSY BUSY BUS! Thesis . AB psych. Eco. Theo. I should stop complaining.

This past few days despite my problems I have been nothing but HAPPY.

Starting to know my TRUE friends

KRIS is right.LET IT GO. I love her, the logic,If I was as sane as her and less emotional maybe my life would be better. I can't believe that years ago, this was the Kristina that I had a big fight with but since then, we've both matured and right now, I super value her advices. THanks KRIS.

Tums is right, don't let it bring you down.

I HAVE THE SMARTEST FRIENDS... thats why I GET BY.

My friday the 13th

Sat, 14 Jul 2007 09:02:47 GMT

Missing Kring all the more each day!!!

FIRST OF ALL HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARIANNE MARZAN

According to superstitious belief, friday the 13th is BADLUCK! apparently, this year, mine was NOT! I loved my friday the 13th every single minute of it. I love being with JEANNE AND TINA. Starting to know who my real friends are. Although some BITCH attempted to ruin the day, that didn't work, how could it, I had JEANNE and TINA plus MIGGY plus CEL right there making the day extra special.

Today was one of the most useful half day that I had for a long long time. Miggy decided to embark on an adventure. MALL OF ASIA. DAMN traffic but when we got there the first thing we got was a stub saying free buffalo wings. ALL you need to do is BUY a meal worth 195. Of course, we went over board. We ate at GUMBO overlooking the bay, super sarap nung wind, bigla nga lang umulan but nonetheless we got to enjoy naman our stay there. THE SERVICE IS GREAT! but the free buffalo wings wasnt that good, the pizza was though, you get some, you lose some. OUR longest lunch ever, normally we only last 20 min or 30 at most, but today we lasted an HOUR. That only means apart from enjoying the food, we talked and we enjoyed the view.

we went shopping shortly after that till we came across the ICE RINK. I miss skating, I haven't skated for so long, I fear that I don't know how to anymore. Anyway, we checked out the rates and apparently medyo mahal siya. Since we didn't have all day bitin if we use the unlimited so we tried to find a way to get a coupon para 1 hour lang. I dont know what miggy did but we entered the department store, looking for something to buy to acquire the coupon but then he approached the counter and without much effort got that coupon that we needed. YAHOO... sabi niya crush daw siya nung sales lady, NYEK. We got our one hour of skating and I still no how to do the basic things. I realized its really hard to skate using the public skates, its a lot more slippery and all that but since I cant find my skate, i had to make use of it. It was BAD. but controllable. I had fun. I even saw some of those skaters I knew from before. Its like going back to my used to be second home. I had fun, it was the first time migz and I went skating together. FUN FUN FUN.

After skating, we still had time so we went around and just chilled around MOA. It was super traffic on the way home, I was starting to fall asleep but then miggy just kept talking and talking ( halatang ayaw niya ko patulugin) the whole hour and a half that he was driving. SUPER DUPER FUN FUN FUN.

When I got home, Cel texted. Another impromptu gimmik. Again because of the traffic more than an hour to get from here to makati but we made it through. A night filled with bonding, not much drinking (walang pera eh). Well ofcourse drank pa din but not the normal cel, miggy, macky level. we went to SAKELAB and ended in cel's condo where we bonded with her sister. EVERY LAKAD TLAGA with cel kahit konti lang kami or kahit chill lang... SUPER FUN! I love CEL lucila!!!

my friday the 13th aside from the traffic was PERFECT. A good road to recovery. THE past week is starting to redeem itself

Can't wait to see TUMS, TIMS, REE, Camille, trix and my DAYS LOVES next week. EXCITED!!!!!

TO you, you didnt succeed, and DAMN PRIDE. YOU DONT MATTER TO ME.

Girls Night Out

Sat, 07 Jul 2007 02:55:14 GMT

I love CELINE, LARI and ISA.

Last night was fun !!!!!

when we got to eastwood, we learned that due to cash shortage we all sort of ate already so we decided to go for dessert and since CELINE'S forever eastwood favorite place is PANCAKE HOUSE then so be it. Just like Last year with Arianne, when we decided to dessert in Pancake house while waiting for the rain to stop, this year was pretty muc the same. We just kept talking and catching up on each other's lives.

We got a good laugh at Celine's match maker tactics, sumablay ng konti eh so now we have to (more like she) has to look for someone to set up to that someone whom she promised a set up too.

Boys, what better place to rant than when with friends.... hahah so ISA indulge and go ahead. I super love that Celine is back and it feels like she wasn't gone at all but now that she's here its like extra effort for us pulchris o see each other. Its fun having a girls night out every now and then, and that doesn't even mean going to bars... we just stayed in Pancake and talked and talked and talked and laughed and laughed and laughed.

There was this Animal exhibit in Eastwood...AND obviously we wouldn't let the night pass without CAMWHORING. Celine is not here often and everyime she is here we make it a point to gather and what is a gathering without CAMWHORING? hahhah. So our next agenda was camwhore galore with the animals... FUN FUN FUN. oh I forgot we also Camwhored at IL pirata even if it says strictly for kids of Il pirata ( kids naman kami ah).

Since Isa was thirsty for a drink we decided to grant her wish so we went to OJs and got her OJ sling. This is where Reuel and Raymond came. Aparently the place was too noisy so we moved to jack's loft were Raymond ( I hope I'm spelling his name right) decided to showcase his magic tricks.... Galing thats like a new Carlos Palma hahha. Reuel decides to Psychoanalyze Isa and her boy ( this is so Psych) hahha the whole night but aparently after a while nabore na si Celine and Lari so we decided to go to Lari's abode and KTV. kaya umuulan eh hahah kasi kumakanta kami... more like Ako kya sorry nalang it was just part of having fun hahah. . AT 3 we decided to head home kasi isa still has a tournament tom ( which we will be watching).

A much needed night and I loved it. I love you PULCHRIS!!!! Till I see you again hahaha ( that's in a while).